Times Square is an overpriced shopping mall, Lady GaGa wore dildo heels on American Idol, and pole dancing is now regarded as a legitimate form of exercise and artistic expression, rather than a way to trick dudes with boners out of dollar bills. Sleaze is quickly becoming an endangered species in this country. Though we may wish that Times Square would go back to being an open air sex market, or that Lady GaGa would have had J. Lo sit on her shoes while she was guesting on Idol, this new pole dancing fad is actually something we’re pretty okay with.

For starters, it’s some impressive shit. Are you seeing that? Are you seeing what that girl is doing? That’s crazy, especially when you think about how hard just doing a single goddamn chin up is. Just like break dancing, twirling around a pole is a technical skill that- though once demeaned at a “lower art form”- is now getting long overdue props for the fact that it takes a considerable amount of talent. Though it might be another few years before we see Step Up 5: Work That Pole hitting theaters, there’s no denying that pole dancing is on the rise. If you live in Austin and are a lady or an overweight man, Brass Ovaries is offering this rad Groupon for half off on $100 of pole knowledge, which is a great investment in either your health or future career as an erotic dancer. Or both.

But what else is going on these days in the wide world of pole working? It’s got to be more than just moms who got sick of doing pilates, right? F*Bomb investigates.

Stripping for the Savior

Christians have recently begun to believe that they can somehow take the sin out of sex and still enjoy all the dirty shit us heathens are going to burn in Hell for. They started by calling dildos “marital aids” and now they’re claiming that dance moves invented by strippers can be called “pole fitness” if you do it to Amy Grant songs. We disagree.

Rating: $0 tip

Big in Japan

Apparently, Japan has been riding this pole dancing craze for a while now. In 2009, Japanese gore-sploitation star Cay Izumi brought a pole with her on the plane to Fantastic Fest, just so she could show off her considerable skills by dancing along to “Dirty Diana” at one of the Highball parties. But that’s just the tip of the lithe, acrobatic Japanese iceberg. Check out this highlight reel from Japan’s 2008 Pole Dancing Championships.

Rating: All the singles we have on us

Dancing in the Street

As good as those Japanese girls are, they lack the imagination of the lovely ladies competing for the title of Miss Pole Dance Colombia 2011. To promote the event, as well as pole dancing as a form of fitness, a bunch of hot Colombian babes took to the streets of Medellin to do some sexualized sign swinging. As far as vaguely feminist hobbies centered around urban landscapes go, we rate this way higher than “knitting graffiti.” You can see all the photos here or check out our three favorites below.

Rating: Going to the bar to break a $20