Here at F*Bomb, we spend a lot of time indoors in a dimly lit office, squinting at a computer screen. We do that for you, our loyal readers, so that we can provide you with a hot steaming slice of the best smut the Internet has to offer. Horrible, filthy, terrible stuff like gay hockey leagues, giantess blowjobs, and double-dicked frat brats. We love what we do, and we do it happily, but everyone on this Earth deserves a vacation now and then, so this week we’re taking one.
And we figured since we love college kids, alcohol poisoning, bare breasts, risky sex, and hot sorority chicks barfing on each other, that there was no better place to spend spring break than at SPRING FUCKING BREAK!!!! WHOOO, YO CHAD THROW ME ANOTHER NATTIE HOLY SHIT DUDE WE’RE IN FUCKING FLOOOOOOOOOOOOORIDAH!
That sort of spring break. According to the advertisements and late night Girls Gone Wild commericals, we were expecting this:
Hot sandy snatch,
a complete lack of tan lines,
and lots of butts on several boats.
But instead, all we’ve seen so far has been:
Douchebags,
being douchey,
and being gay.
We thought since meat heads say the word fag” the way they said “STOP” in old telegrams, that they were all total homophobes. Turns out we were wrong. You get a little liquor in these boys, and they turn into total HOMOS! Seriously, we’ve seen a dozen dudes drink Jager poured off another dude’s hard boner. We saw a wasted bro with coke dick use a Live Strong bracelet as an impromptu cock ring. And we’ve found Mardi Gras beads that were definitely used as anal beads. Eww…
So Spring Break might not have been the debaucherous, drunken, heterosexual free-for-all we’d hoped for, but hell if F*Bomb won’t roll with an out of control gay party any day. Last night, we busted out a pack of poppers in the club and the frat dudes went nuts for them. Since we’d already brought our standard supply of 8 cases of Rush with us, we’re now just selling these things off at $10 a bottle. Easy fucking money.
Anyways, until we get tired of watching bros dose each other with Rohypnol and fall asleep in each other’s arms, we’re going to be riding the Spring Break Express straight through the Spring Break Excess. But don’t worry, we’ll be back in the office in a week, rubbing aloe on our sun burns and trying desperately to find more Internet scum as hot as this video right here.
