It’s been over two weeks since New Year’s and unless we’re mistaken, all those resolutions to eat right and stay in shape have devolved into late night pizza parties and sloth like Netflix Instant viewing. It’s okay though, there’s no blame or shame here. Working out sucks. It takes time away from a busy day where you could be doing something far more awesome than hurting your muscles in a stinky room on an elaborate machine covered in a stranger’s sweat. Normally, the idea of getting hurt by an elaborate machine sounds like something we might like, but when it comes to exercise, it just doesn’t do it for us.

But then again, fucking is quite the cardiovascular work out as well. And without proper training and fitness, it’s all to easy to balloon up to the point where you’re huffing and puffing more than you’re blowing anyone’s house down. So how does one stay in fit, optimal-fucking shape without having to do anything as lame as work out or go to the gym?

Yoga.

Aside from the Shake Weight, yoga is the most sexual way to stay in shape in existence. Single guys who don’t mind the scent of patchouli have long prowled the yoga studios, eager to crouch behind a hot, sexy milf doing downward facing dog, her panty lines clearly visible through her thin spandex shorts. And why do you think so many young ladies hit up yoga, if not for the chance of boning a limber Trent lookalike, skilled in the art of tantric love making? And aside from the darkest corners of Craigslist, loitering outside the prenatal yoga class is the best chance of finding a third trimester babe who practices free love.

So put down that Ben & Jerry’s and start doing your sun salutations. You probably won’t ever master the art of auto-fellatio or auto-cunnilingus (wait, is that possible? Rad. Google says yes!) but yoga can help you stay fit, limber and sexy as all hell. Below F*Bomb rates and reviews the hottest yoga videos Youtube had to offer.

Erotic sexy yoga videos with Steamy Hot Yoga

Oooh yeah, this is sexy in that softcore Skinemax, “click on this if you haven’t figured out there is no nudity on Youtube yet” sort of way. As far as work out tips go, it doesn’t have much to offer. But if you like seeing the previously mentioned spandex-panty-line combo, then this video has got all the bikram babes you could ever need. We’re guessing the primary purpose of this video is for wives to show it to their penny pinching husbands to convince them to pay for their yoga classes.

Rating: Mountain Pose

Tantric Yoga for Lovers

This is how the birds and the bees is explained to kids who grow up on communes. This video doesn’t really teach you much about the crazy 9 hour tantric fuck marathons Sting is into, but it does give you an insider’s view into what making love is like for couples who say “yoni” instead of “pussy” and  Eskimo kiss each other while standing in line at the Co-op. If Peruvian flute music is your go to booty jam, than you probably like this video.

Rating: Raised Hands Pose

BIKINI YOGA WITH JESSICA

Nude Jessica Yoga has a couple of videos up on Youtube advertising her non-functioning nude yoga website. This video was highlighted as a related video on the “Naked Yoga- The Ultimate Experience” page, which ironically is the same video except without the sweet topless back shot at the beginning, the closest thing Nude Jessica gets to nudity. Still, this video is basically porn for balloon fetishists who own Pure Moods, Vol 1 on compact disc, which are two are things F*Bomb can definitely get behind!

Rating: Reverse Warrior Pose

Yoga For Gay

Apparently, Nude Jessica and gay men have extremely similar musical taste. Thus far, this is the only video that matches sexiness with yoga instructions that you could actually follow along to at home. But if someone is on Youtube searching for gay yoga, do they want a work out and do they want a work out? Because if the latter is the case, fuck this video and go straight to…

NAKEDPOWERYOGA.COM

Nice!!! It’s like Robinson Crusoe re-imagined with a hot gay Marine with a tight butt in the titular role. Then, just when you thing he’s all alone on the island, forced to do sexy sandy yoga with no one around to appreciate it, his fucking clone appears and they make out. If only Friday would show up and turn this island party into a gay interracial yoga threesome, we’d have a yoga video people could actually whack off to.

Rating: Downward Facing Dog

Morning Yoga in Bed

But wait, if a person was online and wanted to watch hot gay dudes make out or bikini babes bounce on balls, there are ten million other sites that offer just that in all its uncensored glory. If someone is going to masturbate to Youtube, they don’t want porn, they want the promise of porn that never delivers. It’s like when you grab a Sears catalog instead of a Barely Legal: You just want to give your imagination a little boost, not spoil the erotic mind magic. That’s why Tara Stiles is the hottest yoga video on Youtube. She’s a sexy babe, wearing a cute outfit that still shows less skin than an American Apparel ad, and she’s rolling around in a hotel bed talking about “working all the kinks out.” Who wouldn’t want to wrestle her lithe young body into submission, squirming about on top of that insanely comfy looking bed, order room service and then check out? Best of all, her channel has plenty more videos to keep the fantasy going and some of them even have fairly decent production values. The titular Tara Stiles Yoga looks so good you almost expect her to sell you Activia (expect for the fact that she is forty times hotter than Jamie Lee Curtis).

Rating: One-Legged King Pigeon Pose