Meet Sugar Weasel. A self-described rogue, scoundrel, adult entertainer, world class lover, and yes, clown escort, Sugar Weasel first came to F*Bomb’s attention via his habit of attending house parties in Austin and handing his business card to unsuspecting ladies saying, “Oh you dropped this.” Since women tend to remember when a stranger hands them a picture of a naked clown offering his escort services, we’d heard hints and whispers of Austin’s infamous adult entertainment clown since we first moved to town.
When we started working on the first (later aborted) F*Bomb issue, we tracked Sugar Weasel down (which wasn’t very difficult since his personal site is the first hit for “clown escort” on Google) and asked for an interview. Conducted in the summer of 2010, and languishing in our vaults since then, we now proudly present the highlights of F*Bomb’s conversation with the world’s greatest clown-that-you-can-hire-for-sexual-events. In part one, Sugar Weasel discusses the character’s origins and what it takes to make a clown sexy.
F*Bomb: Where did Sugar Weasel come from?
Sugar Weasel: It started in Austin probably ten or fifteen years ago. I was in Austin as a painter and a sculptor and decided I wanted to make a coffee table book called “Six Months in a Clown Suit.” The idea behind it was that I was going to spend everyday of my life in a clown suit: going on dates, going to the laundromat, going to the grocery store, finding work, and all of the things that everyone has to do. But the only place I could find work was at a gentleman’s club called the Crazy Lady. The owner, unbeknowst to anyone else except the bartenders, hired me to go in there and paid me fifty or a hundred bucks a night. I would go in for about an hour as this clown character, Sugar Weasel, and the dancers didn’t know that I was on the payroll, certainly the patrons didn’t, and it was just a debacle. It kind of gave rise to the sex aspect of the character.
Now I’ve been doing Sugar Weasel all over the place and worked with a lot of good people like the California Institute for the Abnormal Arts, which is an underground club in West Hollywood that’s a circus side show in itself. I’d been affiliated with that group and had art shows out there and had actually killed the character off at one point. I was having an art opening there — or closing if you will — and it was under the pretense that Sugar Weasel was dying of some rare disease contracted in God knows where, Asia or Africa… I don’t even remember the spin we put on it. Mark Mothersbaugh from Devo had written a song for his dying clown friend. Great big turn out, well you know, typical fashion, I didn’t even show up for that particular gig.
Anyways, when I revived Sugar Weasel here about a year and a half ago, I tweaked the performance a bit. It was a lot edgier back then. In the past, when I would do performances, I would like go into elementary schools and they were thinking they were getting a clown. I would have a film crew, commit some form of suicide, very shabbily, but then when I would fall down I would feign a heart attack. So the teachers wouldn’t be able to budge me or wake me. It was more performance art and certainly a lot of ass-whoopings and arrests ensued with that character. So now, I’ve just moved into strictly adult sexual content. That lends itself to bachelorette parties and divorce parties, club openings, mature themed events.
F*Bomb: How did you take the Sugar Weasel character and turn him into a successful clown escort?
Sugar Weasel: To be completely honest, I cultivated the character intentionally to make it take off this way. Austin is very receptive, it’s a liberal college town. People are pretty open minded. However, college towns traditionally don’t have the money to support what I’m doing. For me, this has been a lot of PR work so I could make it a national and then international character. The website has gone viral on a couple of occasions and from all over the world. People in Korea are looking up Sugar Weasel. So this wasn’t just dumb luck. As I’ve grown as an artist and in the business world, I mean, I had a suit and tie job for years. I was marketing director for a company out of Las Vegas. I know how to market. And that’s really what this is about, like anything else. I’m just marketing my big clown cock.
F*Bomb: Does Sugar Weasel have a developed persona that you act out when you perform?
Sugar Weasel: Clowning is an art form and what people don’t realize is it’s really just an extension. You exaggerate whatever traits you have, whatever your personality lends itself to. The character isn’t a stretch for me. I’ve been a cad and a scoundrel and whiskey slewing womanizer for most of my life. So really, it wasn’t a far leap for me.
F*Bomb: How much of the clown act comes into the sexual aspect of it?
Sugar Weasel: Let me put it to you like this: my magic tricks suck, my balloon animals all look like giant cocks for some reason… shit, I can’t balance my check book, let alone ride a unicycle. There’s a little bit of magic, certainly a little bit of stand up comedy, there’s a lot of naughtiness and silliness.
The traditional male strippers I think, I don’t know what your experience is with them, but they’re usually pretty smarmy. Don’t get me wrong, I love smarm. On the other hand I’ve taken burlesque lessons which certainly is not something that’s generally associated with a male dancer. So there’s a comedic approach to how I even remove my clothing. Burlesque is generally thought of as something that females do and do very well. It’s sexy when a woman suggestively takes off her blouse or skirt and reveals her undergarments. When a clown does it… you know, a woman can bend over and pick up a potato chip off the ground, I find it sexy. When I do it, or any man, it’s just generally like, “Dude, come on.” So certainly there’s humor through out my entire show but as far as traditional… yeah, I’ve got squirting flowers, and yeah I do some naughty stuff but I try to keep it interesting and new because that way it remains fun for me. If I had to keep making wiener dog balloons four hundred fucking times, that’s no fun for me or them.
F*Bomb: How do you separate Sugar Weasel’s act from the child-friendly clowns of this world?
Sugar Weasel: The problem with having no clothes on, or g-string or whatever it is, and your body painted white is it looks very animated, it looks very cartoonish. I by no means want to give the impression that this is a children’s clown because the pedophilia ramifications of that are not what this is about so I keep more of an adult voice. I drink martinis, I smoke cigars or Camel Lights, everything about this clown is kind of a James Bond — or Dean Martin would probably be a better example — of clown. A nice host, certainly a little quick witted and can be curt at times, but again, I don’t really put on a goofy voice too often because it’s just not what this character is about. This is an adult clown and nothing is… Let me put it to you another way, the most unsexy thing I can think of is Goofy from fucking Walt Disney. Nobody wants to fuck Goofy.
Stay tuned for part two of the interview, wherein Sugar Weasel discusses the work he performs and what women want from a well hung clown.
