Pornography is notoriously bad at set design. Since the nineties, it has all but given up on setting atmosphere or creating mood. Instead, porn producers rely almost exclusively on empty McMansions that can be rented by the hour through out the San Fernando Valley, which coincidentally resemble the Better Homes and Gardens rejects rappers falsely claim as their own domiciles on MTV’s Cribs. We wonder if Juvenile has ever shown off a house that was filled with gang banging anal milfs the week before. Probably.
However, sometimes someone in the industry decides to get mildly creative and film their generic sex scene in a vaguely novel location, like a golf course or a classroom. The set designers rarely approach the gritty realism and social commentary of public education that you would find in, oh say, season four for The Wire, but they do like to spruce up the place a little bit by putting glasses on the actress, an apple on the desk, and scrawling some gibberish on the blackboard.
That blackboard gibberish recently inspired the appropriately named blog, Blackboards in Porn. The surprisingly safe for work site freeze frames blackboards hidden in the back of porn shoots, and analyzes whatever is written there. Pornographic math usually involves adding up the number of dicks that will fit in one human orifice (xDicks + yOrifices – $ of shoot/zCocaine), but BiP has found simple arithmetic, algebraic expressions, and even compound angle formulae (which earn bonus points for the correct pluralization of formula), as well as non-mathematical subjects like English and Russian Geography, written up at length just in back of the naughty school girls being punished.
So if the next time you’re watching porn, your eye spies a blackboard, help BiP out by sending them a SFW screen shot at blackboardsinporn AT googlemail.com. They also accept NSFW images that more clearly show what is written on the board.
Blackboards in porn site= the best!