The Erotic Implications of Erin Esurance

Here at F*Bomb, the only TV shows we watch are House (how is a doctor so rude so smart? It’s fascinating.) and Skinemax, so we’re not very familiar with this Erin Esurance character. Apparently, she’s the mascot for Esurance and she’s sort of like some money saving cartoon secret agent or something. We don’t get it. However, the nerds that run the Internet seem to have very different feelings about her.

As F*Bomb has explained before, the Internet is full of dirty drawings of harmless cartoon characters. Why anyone would want to waste that much time drawing cartoon tits in MSPaint, we don’t know. Then again, we wasted countless hours masturbating to picture a day videos this week alone so who are we to talk shit? To each their own. Still, something about these Erin Esurance drawings is a little more off than your average gay Simpsons gang bang gif.

The first unusual item is that Erin Esurance isn’t a cartoon created for entertainment purposes. The brainchild of some marketing firm, Erin Esurance was created, nay designed, to represent a brand. Her every contour and iconic detail, from the sleek body suit to the pink hair, was carefully crafted to entice a certain demographic into feeling a certain way. And judging from the drawings below, the commercials are definitely getting an emotional response. But was it the ad agency’s intent to make Esurance’s number one agent into a BDSM lesbian fuck slave? Mmm… probably not.

So then what do these fantasies say about the consumer/producer- wait, are insurance companies producers? Nevermind, make that… consumer/”parasitic money leach” relationship? Let’s investigate.

Here we see Erin with grossly exaggerated breasts. In nature, breasts are a source of sustenance and a sign of fertility. But insurance companies don’t sustain or nurture their clients in any real way. Even Burger King provides a more motherly service (feeding you) than an insurance company who just ups your premium when you have an accident. Obviously, the breasts in the drawing are synthetic implants, and so this artist appears to have unintentionally symbolized the artificial, yet non-beneficial, parental role insurance companies like to assume.

And here we see Erin fucking a nude brunette from behind. The brunette represents the consumer while Erin naturally represents her namesake, the insurance companies. And what do insurance companies do? They fuck us over.

But when insurance companies fuck us over, they really fuck us over. Good lord, ask anyone from Louisiana how much they got paid out after Katrina. Actually, don’t. It’s a sore subject and they’re still pretty mad about it. But the basic premise of insurance is collecting money to pay for accidents when they happen. But when accidents happen, insurance companies seem to take great joy, almost like the sadistic pleasure depicted above, in refusing those claims.

But of course, consumers aren’t the only ones getting fucked by the insurance companies. They’re all fucking each other, it just happens to be much more egalitarian when they do it. This drawing depicts how the insurance companies are “in bed” together. See how they both stare out at you with those smug, mocking grins? Erin is even throwing up the metal sign. They’re getting off together thinking up new ways to bleed more money out of us.

Ahh, the classic role-reversal power fantasy. In this rigged system, we often feel as trapped and helpless as this bound and gagged Erin Esurance. In the real world, we’re the ones (metaphorically) hog tied with leather straps by corrupt businessman and politicians. That’s what makes this script flipping fantasy so sexual. Seeing things as they’re normally not, the powerful Esurance secret agent rendered helpless for example, is a powerfully erotic idea.

This takes the same role-reversal concept, and then pushes it in a more grotesque direction. For insurance companies, people are basically meat that they can process and sell to make a profit. We’re the product that they’re selling. But in this drawing, Erin Esurance has been literally carved up and place in a deli window with a sign offering her up for consumption. How fitting.

No political subtext here. Internet nerds just love tentacle porn.