Despite the fact that we’re a blog, F*Bomb generally doesn’t care for the Internet. Aside from looking up movie times and playing Farmville, the world wide web is generally one big waste of cyberspace. We know, we know, everyone loves how free and plentiful porn is on the Internet, but trust us, it was way more fun back in the day when you actually had to work to get your hands on some circus themed interracial CFNM.
Of course, every once in a great while we stumble on a website that gives up hope for humanity. Eroticfalconry.com is one of those sites. Nestled amongst the giant Googles and Amazons of the web, like a sea hawk’s nest perched high a top an oceanic cliff, EroticFalconry is as noble and humble as the birds of prey it seeks to honor. The site’s design is sparse, its content minimal, but what is there is a glory to behold.
Their brief introduction describes their feather fancy better than we could ever hope to paraphase:
“Where’s the perversion in loving another one of God’s creatures? Where’s the deviance in wanting to pull feathers rather than blond hair? What’s abnormal about wanting to see your wife take a three-inch beak instead of a 10-inch African American phallus or a silicon, injection-molded forearm? How can a human vagina or anus even compare to hollow bones or a molty egg-hole.”
Our thoughts exactly. F*Bomb feels such close comradery to our fellow birds of a feather at EroticFalconry, that we thought today we would offer up some of the site’s many highlights in lieu of an original post of our own. Please enjoy.
Who knew birds, boobs, and boners was such a winning combination? F*Bomb is now starting a write in campaign to New Sensations, the company that makes those “A XXX Parody” videos, to make a “The Birds: A XXX Parody,” because who wouldn’t want to see a Tippi Hedren look alike suck a dick in a phone booth while hoards of birds peck at the glass?
Please print out and mail the following form letter to:
New Sensations
21345 Lassen St # 100
CA 91311-6842
Dear New Sensations Porno Makers,
I, ________, am writing to request that for your next erotic parody title, you make a pornographic version of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic 1963 thriller, “The Birds.” As you may or may not know, a sizable portion of the American pornographic market finds sexual imagery involving birds to be very arousing. I believe that if you capitalized on the well known title of Hitchcock’s film and used it to make an orniphilic porn film, you would earn your company hella loot. I understand that these films are made on small budgets and you will most likely use CGI effects for the big scenes with lots of birds, but please try and use some real birds in some of the sex scenes. A shot of a bird pecking a nipple or perching on an erect penis would be ideal. Thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
_________
